Things People Say When They Actually Mean Very Nearly the Opposite

I'm fascinated with a recent upturn in a particular phenomenon of popular language. The true meaning of an expression is not merely modified or flavored or colored to cast the speaker in a better light—but shamelessly mis-stated. A couple of random examples:

In religious/spiritual circles

"I am so humbled..." = "I am so very proud..."
This one drives me crazy. Quite often it is perfectly legitimate that the speaker feel honored, gratified, deeply satisfied with whatever recognition or favorable response has come to him. Nobody would fault him for expressing it as "Thank you! I am so honored...". So why the faux-humility? You're not humbled. When you think you deserve accolades and get the opposite, that's humbling.

In advertising (always a rich source of verbal buffoonery)

"You're pre-approved" = "You're absolutely NOT pre-approved"
You might be approved later, post-approved, but you will in fact jump through many hoops to achieve this status.

"For your convenience" = "For our convenience"
The "convenience" line is usually a tip-off that some customary feature or benefit has been removed. "We no longer serve free ice-water, but for your convenience bottled water may be purchased from the food case."

In general

"It's a win/win situation" = "I will win/you probably won't"
All pyramid schemes and red-hot real estate opportunities are built on this trusty foundation.

"It's not about the money" = "It's about the money"
Nuff said.

I would of course be so humbled to hear suggestions and additions from others...for your convenience.